xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize