I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize