This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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