Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize