I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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