I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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