well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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