I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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