Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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