you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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