Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
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Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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