ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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