why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize