Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize