omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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