it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I party with great urgency now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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