his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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