She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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