he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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