I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize