Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dear god my vagina.
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