wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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