my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
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I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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