So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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