do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize