u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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