Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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