I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My vagina is officially offended.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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