there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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