I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will be naked everywhere
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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