if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize