my sisters under your porch take her home
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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