pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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