I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize