He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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