She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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