Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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