oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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