Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
3pm strippers are depressing
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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