did you get engaged???
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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