Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
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I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize