I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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