I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize