haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
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He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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