Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize