A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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