Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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