What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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