Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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