At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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