so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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