I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize